Ghosts Do Roam
by The Sneaky Fox
Summary: Despite all that has been accomplished in the Reaper war, victories do not come without losses.


A/N: I've been having a difficult time writing Echoes, so when I opened up a new document... this happened. A much more different tone than my current story, but I'm publishing it nonetheless.

And just a thank-you to PariahKing for beta-ing this. It's been a big help.

* * *

**Ghosts Do Roam**

It was raining.

Tiny dots of liquid shone on her still, pale skin, dewing on frail eyelashes. Ones that would never open to show the world a bright, intelligent gaze ever again.

He stared down at her as she lay in the padding of the coffin. No pulse beat at her neck, nor did her chest rise with breath. She was still.

Tali did not wear a mask; she was dressed in a simple quarian funeral garb, and he didn't know if that made it harder or easier to close the casket.

He could feel the air, tense and waiting as people watched him, wondering when the procession would continue. But he could not find the strength to look away.

He ached to touch her, in the vain hope that her flesh would respond as it always did beneath his fingertips, and deathly afraid that he would find her to remain still. To know the truth of what lie in front of him, forever out of his reach.

A hand laid itself on his arm, clawed and scarred. He saw Garrus staring at him quietly, not saying anything. Words were not needed. Fear coursed through him, realising that he would have to close the coffin, to watch her face eternally darken from his view.

He leaned down, smelling the faintest of fragrances, her scent clinging to her skin almost stubbornly, even after her blood had chilled and her breath had gone cold.

He pressed his lips to her forehead, skin cool and still as stone.

Stepping back, with one last look at her face, he closed the casket.

His eyes found the turian's, whose gaze was dead and empty. Shepard was not the only one to lose Tali.

His fingers trailed over the oak of the casket, coming to stand at the front of it with Garrus, slowly lifting it. He saw James and Kaidan do the same at the other end, and they walked forward, somber music drifting faintly in the downpour.

As they neared the burial sight, he wondered if he'd make it. Her body was so close to him, separated only by a few inches of polished wood and fabric, yet Tali was beyond his reach. It took all his strength not to fall to his knees.

Every step he took towards the hole in the ground that would hold her body, his insides grew colder. Soon, she would be in the earth, her lovely features never touched by the sun nor his own flesh again.

A home on Rannoch was a distant dream, and the victory of the galaxy only left a bitter taste in his mouth. Victory mattered naught to him when the only person he'd live in peace with was dead.

They arrived at the hole. A cold, damp place, the spot she'd forever remain. She would wither away, alone in the dark. And he would wither away, alone in a massive bed too big for one person.

They lowered her down gently, the music reaching new heights of melancholy. He wished it would stop. Wished that everyone would leave so that he didn't have to keep biting his tongue till it bled so that he didn't fall to his knees in the rain. If he collapsed here, he wouldn't be able to stop his grieving until it ran its long, bloody course. It was a struggle to simply stand upright; his bones felt heavy with grief, and a mournful exhaustion clouded his mind.

When dirt began to cover the coffin, rolling over the oak like tears, he watched the last whole part of him become buried in soil.

Everything stopped for him, but the world kept turning. The procession eventually dwindled away, until only Shepard remained.

Minutes turned to hours as the rain soaked his coat and Tali's bed, the moist droplets clinging to the blades of grass, as is Heaven itself were grieving.

Slowly pulling himself together, he began to take the long road to an empty home. It was not in him to leave Tali, but he could no longer stay by her side.

She was already gone.

* * *

His feet dug into the soft soil as he stood at the spot where this world had been reclaimed from the geth.

Rannoch. A planet that once held his future with her, a place of peace. Now the wind only howled mournfully across the plains, reminding him again of all the things now beyond his grasp.

He heard soft footsteps behind him, interrupting his thoughts. He was grateful for the distraction.

"Shep?" It was Kasumi, her voice uncharacteristically subdued.

He looked over at her, and saw that she held something in the palm of her hand, but he didn't say anything.

Taking that as encouragement enough, she walked over to stand beside him, watching the waves crash in the distance.

"Really nice view." She commented, watching his face. Kasumi heard him make a pained sound and nod faintly. The thief bit her lip at his reaction and touched his arm. He looked at her, blue eyes dim and fogged, as if the world were too painful to bear in full focus of one's surroundings.

She outstretched her hand, offering the small device in her palm. "I wanted you to have this. I've been working on it for a while, and I'm pretty sure I've gotten all the bugs out."

His brows drew together, and he spoke softly. "What is it?"

She smiled, forcing the lump back down her throat. "A bit of peace." The thief said simply.

Looking slightly confused, he took it from her, turning it gingerly in his hands. A callused thumb found a small button on the side of the device, and he pressed it in.

She backed away from him as she watched the program spring to life, leaving him alone. She knew what it was like to see the face of the one you loved one more time after their death.

Shepard stood in shock as the program opened, his surroundings becoming digitalised. It reminded him of Project Overlord, though it was a calm, peaceful blue that covered the landscape.

"Shepard."

He flinched at the voice, turning to see Tali standing there, face unmasked. Her hood rested softly on her shoulders, and she smiled faintly, extending a hand. "Come here."

He walked towards her, eyes searching every detail of her face. When his fingers brushed against hers he let out a sob, pulling her close.

"What's going on?" he asked, inhaling the scent of her hair and squeezing her so tightly he felt her ribs creak from the strain.

She laughed, breath blowing softly into the hollow of his throat. "Kasumi worked on this for a long time, after I died. She wanted you to be able to talk to me one more time."

He pulled back, a hand coming up to touch the soft skin of her cheek. "You're not real." he said, shaking his head gently.

Jesus, she looked real. _Felt_ real. His chest ached as he watched her smile at him. "I miss you." he whispered, pulling her close again. "God, I miss you, Tali."

She laughed warmly. "It's okay, John. You'll find me again." She pulled back and ran her fingers along his jaw, and he leaned into her touch.

"How soon?" he asked.

"That's up to you." She replied. "But don't dwell on this, John. You have to move on."

"Why? What else have I got? You're all that—" he broke off, his voice cracking with pain. "I can't leave you again, Tali. I won't be able to bear it."

"You're a strong man. I know you will."

"Not without out you, I'm not." He leaned in to kiss her, the need to feel her touch overriding everything else.

Her mouth was soft and warm, and he sobbed again, deepening their kiss. She pulled back, far too soon, and pulled on his hand, making him follow. She walked him across the dirt field and into a small cave, lit by soft lights that he couldn't see.

"Where are we?" he asked quietly, looking around. The cave was small, and barely higher than his head. Warmth illuminated the stone walls, washing the floor with an inviting glow.

She smiled, outstretching her palm. "We never got married. Now I don't know about a ceremony, but how about a dance?"

He felt a smile tug at his lips, the sensation odd after such long disuse. "You know I can't dance."

She laughed, sliding her hand down his arm and twining her fingers through his. "Just pretend that you can."

A chuckle hummed faintly in his throat, and he reached for her waist, pulling her close. Music began to echo faintly in the cave, and they started to sway to its slow tempo, his face resting in the hollow of her neck and every part of them touching.

They didn't speak, only listening to each other's soft breathing. His mind felt pleasantly foggy, forgetting that this wasn't real. In this moment, he had Tali in his arms, her warm skin pressing against his and her scent clinging to his nose. He felt her lips press into his collarbone, and he shivered, his arm tightening around her.

As the music slowly came to an end, she pulled away, smiling peacefully.

"I love you, Shepard."

He swallowed. He'd never told that he'd loved her. Not once. Not because he didn't love her; just looking at her made his heart ache. But because he was too afraid of what would happen to her if he did. The universe had a cruel way of taking what you valued above all else.

"I love you, Tali."

She stepped back, smile never leaving. Her form blurred at the edges as she moved farther away from him, and he felt emptiness creep into his chest once more when he realised what was happening.

"No," he shook his head, reaching for her. "No, don't go. Please."

"Kasumi made the program destroy itself after you open it. She didn't want you to stay in here forever." Her body shivered and began to fade, the outline of her small frame becoming more and more indistinct.

"Tali, please. I can't go back without you. I can't—"

"I love you." The blue of the landscape wavered and tore apart, receeding back into the box. Along with Tali.

He fell to the ground, pressing the button on the side frantically, trying to see her face. Nothing happened.

He let the device fall from his grip as he lay in the dirt, the smell of her hair lingering faintly in his nose. She was gone from him once more. He noticed dimly that he was back on the cliffside, Tikkun starting to set on the ocean.

He closed his eyes, listening to his breathing slow. He focused on those precious images of her, of feeling her move under his fingers one last time. Hearing her soft voice and seeing her gentle smile.

Even with those new images, he felt the dreaded emptiness returning, as if someone were slowly gutting him. He wondered if he should kill Kasumi or thank her.

He curled inwards, the pain making it hard to breathe, and began to wait; to wait for his heart to slow and stop, to wait for the time when his breath would eventually leave his body. Then he would be able to see her again. The thought almost brought a smile to his lips.

He, who lived through everything the galaxy threw at him—even death—waited to see her face once more.

He did not wait long.


End file.
